I need more time to be selfish!

I need more time to be selfish. I keep cutting into my "me" time by helping others out. If you are not careful in this life you will end up helping everyone else but yourself. Just today I encountered several other people who wanted and needed help in doing and being what God was asking of them.

If this keeps up I will need to greatly re-evaluate how much time I should give to me. It looks like I will end up with just a fraction of "me time" that I want. And who is going to help me be me. I mean it is starting to look like the only one who can help me be me while I help others be who they should be is God. But if God is helping me be me, who is going to do all the God stuff?

Maybe I should just love my neighbor as myself, you know, give them a cookie and a cup of coffee and be done with it.

Kids

Kids behave like kids. And I behave like a big, old kid.

weighing in

When weighing in on an issue or argument, do we need to have a balanced answer? In those times we are seeking to express an idea contrary to that which is being expressed, do we need to avoid extreme comments?

Most of the time my response is in proportion to how far out there the other person is. If there are "really wrong" then I give a "really right" response. If the person is only a little off, I share just a "little" true perspective. But is this manipulation of the degree of truth, untruth?

I have found two things I do not like. The first is just answers (answers that are seeking the truth not counter balance)seeking peace. Peacemaking is a Godly character so I ought to be seeking it. But in truth, I love a little conflict so I often move beyond peace to tension with an calculated imbalanced answer. On days when I have had 12 or more caffeine drinks and start to crash I can move from hearing to out right fighting in less than ........, we as fast as I can.

The second thing I found that I do not like is thinking before I speak. It is much easier to just speak and listen to what you are saying as you say it. If you listen to your words before you speak them, much of the creativity and energy is lost in the time listening. But when we do this "listen as we speak" method, we sometimes find that we do not agree with all we are saying, but since we are the one who is saying it, we must agree, to a degree.

Well I thought I would just weigh in on this issue.

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for.

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Highway or Wilderness

In life, what are you looking for? There are people who look for the highway. They look for a smooth and easy place to live and walk, a place where it seems people are going somewhere and doing something. Highway people seem to have inner comfort by being with others, even if they are confined to one road and a standard view of life.

I like the highway because it takes me to the wilderness. So when I get to the wilderness I get off the highway and try to find a place without a path. To walk and see what others dread, is joy to me. This does not mean I have a need to be in danger, it just means my inner life is activated by the wonder of all that is lost to highway travel.

Much of American church life is highway life. People are instructed to run with group. You are called a break out leader if you build a highway. People call you adventurous if you tell great stories of the wilderness from rest stops on the highway. But if you choose to live in the wilderness, those on the highway will call you a fool, unbalanced, lost. Have you ever noticed that you can sell out and be completely committed to anything, sports, music, career, education, anything but God. When you sell out for an earthly thing you are committed, but when you sell out for God they want to commit you. They say you are lost.

Being lost is an awful feeling. I hate it when I get lost in all the traffic of life, when the demands of others drive out the desires of God, when people clamor for your approval and then cut you off on there way to be next in a long line. I love being lost in the wilderness. Just the reality of needing a guide, of finding that I am helpless, the surrender to my self and the dependence on God. When you get lost on the highway you can drive on for years and no one will ever question if you are going the right way. When you even think you are lost in the wilderness you are questioned every day.

"Is this the right step for me" is a daily question that is to slow and burdensome to those who run wide open on the highway. Yet asking that question daily, if not every hour is a question of communion and fellowship. I love, loving God and needing and seeking Him is my delight.

I just saw a great place to get off this highway. Gotta go!