Snow, cold, sick people and cabin fever are the things of my life right now. It's funny that things take longer in the cold and when dealing with "sickies". I find that I have a "sick tolerance". I will lovingly and tenderly care for you so long, but if the "sick tolerance" wears off, look out. Oh, I would never do anything wrong on the outside, it is the inside stuff that you need to be concerned about.

Yet years ago I had a sign hanging in my office that said, "You will worry less about what others think of you when you realize how little they do". So maybe everyone else is thinking about themselves just like I am. I guess that would be a form of unity.

I lovingly pulled my truck up into a snowdrift on our driveway the other day so the women who were coming to our house to meet with Shirley could use the drive. Today I went out to see how bad I was stuck and found about 2 inches of ice under the rear wheels. For a moment I regretted being the doer of good deeds. If you do something nice but later regret it, does that negate the original good deed by the later bad thought?

That is how I feel about a lot of snow now. At first I am excited about it. Then, when I am out helping the neighbors shovel out, I hate it. You know if you helped all your neighbors shovel out their homes for years, I mean you have done it so much that they now expect it, can you post a sign in your yard that says, "Turing 50, Snow help on a first come first serve basis, limited to 2 customers/neighbors." Well the good thing is that I am not out there clearing a 25 car parking lot any more.

Aside from all the grumbling, which I do because I try to get more attention for all the little things I do that I thing should earn me more praise. Aside from all that, I love helping others. So may people have helped me in my life, it would be impossible to count. I like caring for our neighbors, I like seeing people respond when you show them a little love, a little caring. It is like bringing a little hope and happiness into the world simply by helping someone else.

Now that it is my turn to help, I hope all those who helped me can look down (I hope that aren't trying to look up) and see their investment paying off. Thanks guys, family, friends, strangers and all who shared a little love and labor along the highway of life.


rd

Twisted

Twisted

When I looked up the word “twisted” I got the following references; warped, perverse, sick, bitter, cruel, perverted, and abnormal. I looked up the word “twisted” because it was the first word that came to my mind when I read Deut. 9:2-6. After reading that passage I thought, “how screwed up I am” and how many years I have based actions on a false foundation. I also became somewhat ashamed of how little I know of the love of God and how much I live in self-love.

Right now, as I type this I am feeling lost. How much of my life have I based on a false favoritism from God? In how many other areas of my life, of living do I have a bad foundation? I need a good saving. As you read the passage below understand that "driving them out" is not based on the "goodness of God's people, but on the need for justice in the earth.

Deut 9:2-6
3 "Know therefore today that it is the LORD your God who
is crossing over before you as a consuming fire. He will destroy them and He
will subdue them before you, so that you may drive them out and destroy them
quickly, just as the LORD has spoken to you. 4 Do not say in your heart when the
LORD your God has driven them out before you, 'Because of my righteousness the
LORD has brought me in to possess this land,' but it is because of the
wickedness of these nations that the LORD is dispossessing them before you. 5 It
is not for your righteousness or for the uprightness of your heart that you are
going to possess their land, but it is because of the wickedness of these
nations that the LORD your God is driving them out before you, in order to
confirm the oath which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and
Jacob. 6 Know, then, it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD your
God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stubborn people.
NAS

Three times in this short passage the Lord speaks to tell us that God was bringing justice on the earth because justice was needed, not because the people of God were favored above the other people. Once I think about it God used “pagan” nations to do the same thing to the people of God when injustice among the people of God reached His limit.

What urks me is that I know so little or the real love of God. I long to be favored more than others, especially more than people who do not serve God. How can I live if God’s love for me is the same as His love for people who don’t even try to serve Him? I have built a whole system in my heart of being loved based on how I live. Don’t get me wrong, I want to live a life worthy of the Lord; but I want to know the true love of God. To truly know the love of God it looks like I need to have a heart for other people on a level I am not comfortable with. I need to realize how God even loves His enemies like He loves me. I need to surrender my need to be special and embrace His love that goes beyond comprehension. How twisted I am when I think His love for me equates Him loving others less.

Pain and Suffering

Reed was lying on his bed near tears and in pain for a head injury. Just a few hours earlier he was out having fun sledding and snowboarding. But this little guy was not knocked off his feet and we both were pleading to the Lord for healing and help.

Do you ever wonder why we care so much? I was raised with the attitude that, "pain on someone else doesnt bother me". Yet now it does. When did I come to love this little boy so much that I would be willing to take his place? At what point in life did his life become more important than my own? How do we go from being fed up with their behaviour to supreme unconditional love?

Reed kept throwing up and I kept praying to make a wise decision. We took him in to get scanned. In the hospital Reed became the little tough guy and all the pain and suffering of moments before were "not much" and "a little". If I didnt want him to get better I probably would have gotten upset that he was making me look bad. How quickly the focus can change from someone else back to me.

But I realize that Reed was just living in this world. Christ Jesus loves us in our pain and suffering and He came and took our place. He actually died so that we might live. Sure we complain about the living but we would be dead forever if it was not for Him. Yet we, just like Reed, blow off our weakness and pain in the face of this world. This world is built on not being needy, not being in pain or hurting. Somehow if you are invincible, you get the prize. But if you are in need of help, of being saved from your own sin, your a looser.

I have a lot of pride and donot want to be a looser. Yet I am. I am that sick boy lying in bed and in need of a Father to make it right. When I spend an hour or two in silence and thought, I come to know how evil my own heart is and how great a transplant I need. I guess I love Reed when he is hurting so much because that is how I am loved. I am just giving back what I have received. Just like my Father in heaven loves me, so now His love, in tiny drops, flows through me to another person in pain.

Reed is doing great now. He is upstairs waiting for me to cook some potatoes and eggs. In a little while I will probably get mad at him for being a child and doing childish things. But sooner or later he will hurt again and I will once more have the opportunity to love him as I look to care for someone else rather than just live for myself.

Thanks to the Father of the fathers for His love.

Bible Sword Drill

This cartoon reminds me of how some people responded on the last trip to Mississippi. I remember asking someone to get me a tri-square and how confused they were looking for a square with three sides. If you think about it very long you will wonder what type of people will make a "tri-square" anyway.

At work, which is "at prayer" but we call it "at work"; even though it is quite fun. Well at work, in prayer, I often see people with the same "big eyes" when we talk about "harp and bowl intercession", "prophetic intercession", "apostolic prayers", and "spontaneous singing from the word". They look just like I look when Shirley is talking about commas, capitol letters, run on sentences and "not-a-words". I a perfect world everyone would understand what we meant and we would mean what they understand. This is not a perfect world.

I hope I stay innocent all the days of my life, like the kids on the missions trip. They would search with all their hearts to try and find what I was asking for, to find this tool that they didn't even know existed with some whacked out name. I want to be childlike, like that. I want to hear my dad tell me to go get some "boxed sphere of verbal silence" and off I run in anticipation of finding the right tool and making Him proud.

Don't you just love it when God moves into a place and all who are there silently hear His voice. And then they respond with one heart and one cry to our most visible unseen heavenly Father? Well if you don't get this, don't worry. Just come on over and we will have a Bible Sword Drill.

RATS

In the beginning God created a lot of things, including rats. During our time in Mississippi I shared a space with a medium size dead rat. This was more enjoyable than sharing the same space with a small alive rat. More enjoyable for me, not that rat.

Since I often pray that God is good and just I know deep within my inner man that rats are good. Good from God's perspective. They have a reason to exist on the earth. It may be they are like cockroaches. Rats and cockroaches can be used of God to cause a holy fear that leads to prayers of protection and deliverance.

I had a night in Mississippi when, according to one youthful critic, I was the "scaredest" he had ever seen. After listening to rats chew on the corner of our dwelling for about an hour I suddenly felt something jump on my face. In the spirit of Sampson I grabbed the intruding villein and wrestled it off my face and to the side of my cot. In an our bust of anger and hostility I was horrified that I had been accosted by a corner of my blanket. I know some people who have blankets that love them and comfort them. Mine joined in union with the rats to terrorize me.

But in the end I got to align myself with scripture. I arose and turned on the light over my bed. True to the nature of light the darkness was pushed back. Now the dark and forbidding corner that was filled with chewing noises was converted. God is light and in Him no darkness dwells. Do you think that God created light in the first place to drive out the "chaos" (darkness, mess, rats) in Gen. 1?

In my "Manly" ways I asked if my new night light was a problem to anyone else in the hut. I was thankful that this group was home schooled and well trained in not imposing their will on adults. Just a few moans and groans and the rest of the night was full of light and peaceful ratlessness. While I learned to deal with my issues with light, many of the young men learned to sleep with their sleeping bags and pillows pulled over their eyes. What a great night for learning!

If you ever have trouble getting out and bed and going to work, just bring a few rats into your room and allow them to live and breed. This one simple action will greatly help you get and out bed and look forward to get going in the mornings.

Winning Picture Goes Here

This is not the winning picture but one from another trip.

Salsa and tasting life

Does salsa taste better if you have all your teeth? I had to have some of my teeth pulled when we were poor and young, just starting off in life. We could not afford to have my teeth fixed, we just had them pulled. But now that we are old(er) and.., I'm still having my teeth pulled.

But does life, I mean salsa, taste better with all your chewing tools? Do we miss out of tasting life because we have holes in our mouth?

Years ago I was at home eating a granola bar and when I bit in, one of my teeth broke off. Later on a fishing trip in South Dakota we were "going light" on lunch and just having granola bars. Guess what. I bit the bar and another tooth broke off. Health food attacks me for sucking up to ice cream all those years.

I just got back from working in Mississippi. Some of the people there have holes, places missing. I think there is a lot of life, a lot of God, they are missing as they try to chew up the meal they have been served. I went to help them out, but you know, I have some teeth missing in my own mouth. Most dental work is not transferable with some one else. I don't know this for sure but when I look at my neighbors dentures, I don't think they will fix into my mouth. It seems like we can encourage one another but the chewing is left up to the individual.

I know we all miss out on things because of the losses we have suffered. But when we get to heaven I think most of us will realize it was not the salsa we wanted anyway - it was the chip!

Happy chewing and watch out for those granola bars.