Un-American God

Isa 57:15 For thus says the high and exalted One Who lives forever, whose name is Holy, "I dwell on a high and holy place, And also with the contrite and lowly of spirit In order to revive the spirit of the lowly And to revive the heart of the contrite.

God appears in this passage to be very un-american. He is the living holy one who dwells (lives, abides and stays) with broken down ones. He is not the God who visits the nursing home, who walks through the depressed neighborhoods, who calls the totally whacked to see how they are doing. He goes and lives with them so that they can be revived or come to life.

If God dwells on high and in holy places, yet he lives with the contrite and lowly, does that mean that they(the broken and depressed) are on height with Him? Are the broken down with God in the elevated dwelling place? Are they dwelling in Him and possessing the Holy Mountain?

What type of God hangs out with and lives with the broken people of the world? Are we not all taught in the American church to be "something special" so that we are blessed, rewarded and valued? Do we not all sing songs of triumph which have us winning the battle, overcoming the enemy and defeating the foe through our faith? Are we only partly educated and equipped?

"Revive" here means to "live". God is a God of life. If you already have a life, if your daily existence is full of stuff, activity, recreation, family, friends, lunches, dinners, sporting events, concerts, theater, biking, eating, singing; then you have no room for God, no room for life. But if you find yourself on the edge of emptiness, if you feel a lack in your heart, a desire for something more, then there is hope.

According to Isaiah 57:15 here is what you do to pull yourself out of the situation and brokenness you are in. First of all you "be". Second you look for the God who said He would be there as you "be". Thirdly you spiritually allow God to descend into your brokenness and lift you to His height and holy places. You can say "no" to both the indwelling presence of God and the revival of your life. Your pain will try to make you say no. Fear and hopelessness will not always yield easily, but God is long suffering and persistent.

Here is my "Crashed, smashed and broken prayer".

HERE I AM, COME AND GET ME!!!!

Even if you are suffering pain, it is actually quite hard to be down cast if you are truly interacting with the presence of God. You can be in so much pain that your mind is numb to everything else. That is another situation with another method of revival. But for those trapped in brokenness there is an method of elevation, and it comes in the form of the dwelling of God.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a very unique day. It is holy.

For whatever reason, a women choose to carry us and nurture us. We have life because another person took care of us. When I consider all the things I have enjoyed, all the love I have experienced, all the wonders I have seen; then realize it all depended on my Mother providing for me.

The months of being unborn, what is it like to carry the burden of life? What a mystery it is to own you life to your Mom. Oh, sure I know it takes two, but one bore me. That time in the womb is very spiritual. It is Godlike in the sense that I was helpless, yet alive. I was a being and yet I could not exist without care, nurture and protection. Now that I am an old man, God still "mothers" me. The wonder of God is the wonder of connection and common life.

I owe a debt to my Mom that I can not repay or even express. It is the debt of life. God in His wisdom choose to gift mothers with this great power, privilege and responsibility.

Thank you God for Mothers! Thank you for my Mom. Thank you for life.

The Lord is our Shepherd

Because God is very good we should not waist our past, especially our past failures. The things that we face this today, and tomorrow, are placed into our lives so that we live beyond and above them. To do this God has lead us through our past to our present, so that we might live as Kingdom people.

Make a list of all the miraculous things that have happened in your life. This list comes at the crossroads of desperation and conflict. The things that occurred in these moments are some of our most critical training. But we tend to blow it off and relegate it to "bad experiences" or "miraculous events". They are more. They are a big part of the training of God.

If you have been healed, as I have, then you have been trained in God's power to intervene in our bodies. If you have been given gifts of provision, as I have, you have been trained in God's school of supply. If you have been liberated in your mind, as I have, from negative condemning controlling thoughts then you have been trained by God in the renewing of the mind and the reforming of inner life.

So it is not a matter of just getting through a season of life or of having God get us out of a pickle. We are being trained in the ways of the Lord so that we can deal with the storms and issues of life. Let's not go to school for years and then live as though we have no education, no training.

Take your list and open your heart and mind to the equipping of the Lord. He lead you through these things so that you would not just "know about" the possibility of God's ways but so that you would "experience them". You are a living testimony of God and His ways. Now don't waist them. Boldly live daily life in such a way as to allow the training you have received from God to touch the lives of others. Sure no all people will be touch in the same way God touch you. Sure you can not guarantee the outcome. But you can be just like Jesus and make intercession for others to encounter God in His miracle working manner.

Having Hope

Having hope is so vital to daily life.

One day of being encouraged can make a tremendous difference in how we see things, how we feel about things and how we encounter ourselves. I find that most of my hope is related to my personal happiness and feeling that the things I desire will happen. But with so many people and so many desires, isn't someone bound to be disappointed?

The only way to avoid the big "NO GO" is to be connected with God. When my hope is in Him, I win. I win not because I get what I want more, but because when He is my desire I can always have Him. This may seem basic, and it is. But the more we live with our hope in Him the more we set others free from our con trolls, ruling spirit and expectations.


Here is a recent application

Speeding down I 65
Close behind, close beside
Talking on cell phone at high speed
Feeding my face
Seeing no need
To Slow down

Loving Dad and child
Setting in rear
Seeing the car
Fearing the fear
Wondering if driver, while feeding their face
Sees any danger
Would slower the pace.

Yet God in the heart
Reaches the soul
Helping the Dad
Release his control
Fearing not death or dismemberment
Eats his own fries
And now is content.

"Out on life's Highway, living with God"

Great Guy with Issues

I'm a great guy, with personal issues. I can't hide the greatness or the personal issues. What you see when you see me is what you are looking for. Oh, and sure the "greatness" might not be all that great, but I got what I got.
Each one of us has personal issues. God allowed these into our lives to keep us stirred up. If you want life to be simple and easy going, you might want to try Buddha or some other eastern no conflict religion. Christianity is full of blood, sacrifice, war and those nasty crosses.
But me and my stuff is what makes the cross delightful. At the cross I get an upgrade on life and that makes me excited. At the cross I get to take the me that I am and upgrade to the me I should be. It is like taking the old thing that you purchased at Walmart a year ago, and getting a new one. Walmart is like God in that way. They may give you a nasty look, but you still get to exchange the old for the new. Most of the time God doesn't give us a nasty look, but we feel like He does.
That feeling is a personal issue. We have (living people have) a lot of them. They are what we collect on our soul when we live. Some of us have issues of fear, anger, unforgiveness as well as mercy, love and hope. The personal issue is what grows in your inner life when you, as a person, have something happen to you.
I can recall in college when I was in a snowball fight in the dorm. when you have an indoor snowball fight you are a little more cautious about throwing your snow balls. It is hard to make them out of carpet, hard - but not impossible.
Well something like a carpet ball hit me in the face. It was actually a rock in the snowball thrown by a guy with personal issues. What happened is that His personal issues and mine got all tangled up and life was very exciting for some time. It all worked out though as we got to go to the cross and upgrade. I got more forgiveness and he got some bigger rocks. He needed them because my forgiveness was more progressive and instantanious.
So you can see or imagine that Christianity is more exciting because of personal issues. I suppose that some people think life is all about setting quietly and having perfect peace. But if you take the time to talk to these people who have perfect peace they are worried that people don't like them, or if they are humming to loud or not setting quietly in the right way. They also have issues about who has the greater perfect peace and who's perfect peace is being noticed.
One of my goals is life is to be a project. God loves to create and build, He is always restoring something and if I help Him hang around me, work on me, restore me, that's great.
I once had a prophetic word give to me. It went something like this.... "Rod, God knows that you are screwed up even more than you know, but He likes being with you". Right there is a testimony of a true word. Who but God could love a guy with personal issues.

Broken Rod

In the hand of a King
He intended to be
This twig of an Ash or a Oak
Each living thing has a purpose, has plans
So why not a twig, a staff for a King.

The rings of a tree reflect seasons of growth
Some are grand and others are lean
Each season itself, endured to the end
Brings growth to the twig, for the King.

But what makes one strong
How can nobility be earned
Can greatness come by mere growth
Do the winds of time blow with enough strength
To make a sceptre of twigs?

Could the twig be as nothing
What matters is others, not self
Add gold and silver and all precious stone
Add carvings and leather and oil
Add more to the twig
Hide each and all faults
Make it so the twig is not seen
Please every eye
Fulfill every hope
And pray that the King never leans.

But leading does come and strength is required
Even when covered with glitter and gold
To carry a load is required of all rods
Without this, they are without hope.

So back to the place where glitter is rare
Back to the land of growth
To the hidden, the common, the lonely
It's true
To the endurance of wind and of storm
To the yearning for water, and sun and growth
To collection of mineral and oar.

Strength from within, litte glamore without
Through trial and suffering and pain
A twigs gotta do what a twigs gotta do
And this without glory or fame.

Now in the field of great Ash
In the stand of the Oaks
A million great branches are made
Each one endured time, and seasons and life
Each one was created, then made.

True growth changes things
Deep things
Down within
True growth honors life, not fame
And even the desires of twigs does change
Once matured, once endured
Connection is valued more than praise.

What was once the great goal
Is now viewed as sacrifice
What was glory is now seen as pain
To be cut off, to be removed from your place
Speaks of hardship, displeasure and shame.

To spend all our time growing to be
What in time we do not desire
Is a life that is living and seeing within
A beauty not known without pain
For the hope of some glory
turns into one's duty
When we love "what we are" more
Than what "might be".

So the rod that is chosen to support the great King
Is a rod deeply broken within
In support, never failing
In glory, no thought
In beauty and position - esteemed
Yet humbled by privilege
And mindful of life
To be broken
Held
by the King.

For no matter how glorious the palace may be
The secptue, once a rod, once a branch, once a twig
Knows it's by grace he was chosen for this
And remembers the lessons of change.


Life is only short here on earth, our other life has endless days.

I'm Better because I'm Better

Most every day I get up I try to earn some favor from God that will allow my life to be a little easier or "more blessed". At the end of most of these days I just have depression and disappointment. It is very hard work to try and get God to love you more!

With the help of an unyielding heart, I set out anew most every day. Oh now I pretend that I have my act together, I pretend to walk in grace and to live care fee under the provision of the Lord. What I truly do is act out my desired reality while inside, I live with the real me. I'm waiting for the real me to go away and the me I want to be to live.

Fear plays a major role in my life. Fear of rejection, fear of hurt, fear of failure; all work on me like a roller pin working in yeast. More than that, like a overweight half drunker sailor who is serving time in the galley by getting the bread ready. Driven by anger and filled with bitterness this sailor slaps and punches the bread, using verbal insult to get his job done. At times I feel like my inner life just knocks me around. I feel abused for a purpose. Molded into a small container and heated until I am ready to be eaten by man.

How can I live in grace and favor. I know what this cost. I know who I am. I know what I am in the very deep places of my thoughts, attitudes, emotions. Sure I have some level of the gift of self-control, that is what makes me the least bit socially acceptable. I am gifted at pretending to me a better me. Grace and favor are just to costly a gift to embrace, doing so results in humility, deep unending humility.

One of the places of greatest pain and suffering is the place that I can never earn love from God. My "manness" is empty, broken. I fail at all attempts of earning love. This is a haunting truth. For the immature it is a "so what". "Let's party and fill our lives with selfishness." "Come listen to me, I am favored by the Lord, blessed, loved, and it cost me nothing!" Why do I call them immature? Do I want them to be unhappy with me?

Where is the truth, the truths about right living with God? Where do obedience and grace meet? How can a righteous man live in righteous ways and not feast at the table of irresponsibility? There must be "a way".


Silently now I hear His voice
My unborn brother takes the lead
Like a beam of light
He over shadows me
So on the other side of me is the only dark place
Where will I cast my gaze
What will I choose for focus
The unborn One
Me
The Shadow created

I choose to see them all
To be one
To live for another
To be united in my division
To live in the space between failure and grace
The space I call "me"

Like my brother
Bread for men
That them might eat
And live