Almost Honest

Who made the world where cheerleaders rule
Where enthusiasm trumps substance
Where glamor is enough
Why do we praise words
avoid deeds
And cover our emotions with
self-righteous disguise

I seem to see great things in the most broken
Yet see little more than self-love in the most popular
It is the spirit of self-love that draws others

How i long for a conversation with a man
instead of the actor playing the man.

Thank you Lord for those in my life who are real
who bear all things
endure all things
love with courage in the absence of praise

Thank you for examples of life

Living on God’s Rumors

Have you ever taken a word that God spoke to someone in scripture and claimed that for your own? I was pondering that (contemplating really) and I felt as if that was wrong. I felt that if a man stood up and told people publically that He loved Shirley, his wife, it would be wrong for other women to say, “he loves me too”. I know it is more than popular to do that with scripture, but is it right?
As I consider this I felt assured by God that He is more than able to talk to each one of us. And YES He does use scripture to do that. But have you notice how we do it with the positive words, what we call the “good stuff”.

When we do this we live on the rumors of God. We are trying to live by what God has said to another. You don’t need to do that. God has plenty to say to you. You don’t need to live in the leftovers of another person’s relationship with God.
I have heard many people proclaim “We are the head and not the tail”. Yet seldom (actually I am the only one I know of, and I did it more in a spirit of grumbling than in a spirit of revelation) do people proclaim “I am the tail”. Do you recall Paul proclaiming his apostleship (1 Cor. 4:9)? Maybe modern man is better off than this old worn out Apostle.
Now don’t throw out your Bibles just because you can’t get a word from them whenever YOU wish. There is more than enough narrative relenting the unchangeable nature of God. Even among all the personal words not intended for you – are lines and lines of the character and nature of God just waiting for you to grasp and delight in.
God does often use the very words He spoke to one to speak to us too. When we hear Him, even though He is addressing another, His word to us becomes alive and fresh. It has His conviction and not just our presumption. In these cases we do not choose the word but the word has chosen us. We are not laying claim on the word as much as the word is laying claim on us.
Let’s all make the choice not to live my rumors or the words that God has spoken to others. Let’s step out each day with the active hope of a living relationship with the living word. It is His nature to communicate to me, to us.
Even if the Lord of heaven has recorded His love for another in Scripture, you need not envy or steal that proclamation. And don’t panic if you are not the “head”, I have it from a good source that the first are going to finish a little lower than the last one day.

A Vision of Ants

Ants
So I am down at the Prayer Center minding my own business and praying with a couple other guys with I have this internal vision about ants and unity. By internal I saw it with my “inner eyes” and not outside of me like at TV or video projector.

There on the ground were ants. It was like there were numerous little colonies, with their leaders. Each “leader ant” was doing what they thought was needed to please the Lord and earn a little reward. They were very busy, working very hard. Off to the side of what was the main thing they were doing was a little pile or work called “obedience to God”. The leader ants would work on this little pile as often as they could, but they kept being compelled to work on the bigger pile. It seemed like the ants were under a great burden to keep building a bigger work that had a great or substantial appearance, even if they knew the little work of obedience to God was more important.

As I looked I started to see other worker ants piling up stuff too. I saw that they were seeking to pile up their significance by gathering criticism and complaint against what others were doing. There were numerous (sorry to say) little rebellious colonies, out or relationship with others, assuming responsibility to correct others and direct them.

I felt a little hopeless. I went from the joy of praying for unity to feeling pity, mainly for myself for wanting more than “being trapped” in such a community. I didn’t ask which pile I was working on because I didn’t want to know.

They I felt the Lord rush upon my understanding. Having played college football I have this feeling of when the other team did something great against you. I played offence so at times I stood on the sideline and watched as the other team ran this fantastic play and scored against you. On the sideline you can do nothing but watch and at times it seems like that great play would never end. But there are times when the umpire throws a flag and the whole thing is for nothing. I felt that! I felt that “you killed us with that but it doesn’t count” type of feeling.

I saw again as the Lord reached down and grab all of us and put us in an Ant Farm. As He did that I sensed Him saying, “This is a small thing to correct”. By simply putting us all into a space that confined us, we were required to get along and interact with one another. God removed “my space” and “his space” and made it all His place. But I wondered if just being together would make such a great difference.

With that thought I saw that the ant farm was being observed by the Lord. He saw all our works and labors easily, and we knew that He knew. Each tunnel, pile or stack was seen by Him and there was no place to hide. But it felt better than hiding. It felt liberating to be seen. It was like we all were free to do what He desires us to do when we all know that He was watching.

So here is the part I don’t know
• Does God have some plan that involves involuntary confinement?
• Should we start to seek the Lord to know more of what He sees on a day to day basis?
• Is this a prophetic teaching that has not “real life” events but should provide some wisdom?

Dropping Out

I am amazed (in a sad way) about the number of people that have great experiences with God, who feel called to service, who at one point in time are full of passion and dedication, and then drop out. From non-scientific observations I think most of this occurs because of lack of real friendship (the type that encourages) and lack of something significant to do. Although living by faith is much harder than one might think. Being surrounded by things that do not look like they are working out is not the romantic picture that some think it is.

But what to do about those who are slipping away. Do we, or do I, own than any support or help? Is this life of God in Christ Jesus a solo act? Am I in any way obligated to those I don't even know?

I have a plan. It may again be one of those times when I fail at something rather than succeed at nothing!

More to come.

Alone

It is a most strange thing to be a human being. When we face some sudden or deep suffering, we mostly feel alone. Even in the midst of friends and family, comfort and edification, a part of our insides feels isolated and alone. It may be death or illness of a patent or child, it may be our own condition of anguish, or it may be the helplessness of helping one of our children through a very difficult place in life. We stand alone.

In no way am I denying the reality of the never ending presence of God, but even with His presence, we are alone. No other person feels our pain, has our thoughts and truly understands what it is that we are facing in those moments. Sure we can lean on one another as far as common experience goes. But it is not bad to be alone. We are made as individuals and as such there are some necessary times to be that, individual.

I suppose that some of us feel much less of this aloneness than others. People who are "people persons" tend to be more easily distracted from them selves, not completely, just seemingly more. Others who have some divine gifts of burden bearing, prophetic insight or compassion seem to feel much more of this "aloneness", yet have come to peace with it.

There is both pain and healing in this isolation. Pain in the reality that I must endure and go through this as a person. The call to go through this season as a person, as one who is just that, one. Healing in the same way. It is like the heart is called to become resolved through hidden isolation. Sure the health can be postponed or rejected all together by blaming, rejecting or denying the right and duty of being a person. I can look for a way to lives that seeks to avoid my person hood. None will.

I, for one, am sure there are many who feel mostly alone in life. Not is a sad or needful way. Just alone. When my parents suffer, friends, family, children all undergo hardships, even my ability as an intercessor does not resolve the isolation of the heart. It doesn't need to.

For if we can embrace it and not be overcome by standing alone, we will find greater clarity and peace. Even when the outer man or situation is in pain and suffering, there is an inner place alone, calm, un-distracted. In that place of great awareness the world, or sin or some natural or un-natural thing calls to us to get us to do something "not to be alone". Don't do that.

God comes walking into humanity, softly calling. Those who are not distracted will hear the sound. In that moment you will be in a position that I think few in our day find. The position of encountering God without distractions, but alone.

I have a friend who is not bothered by me.
He is not impatient for me to change
He has not assumptions that I will
He has given me the gift of humanity
And at times in that gift
I must be alone

How to become a better intercessor

Often when we pray for others the main thought life is seeking to find the right scripture or truth to apply to the situation. Often, this union of scriptures and circumstances are the result of our own personal experiences. What we want is to become people who can apply the heart of God to the heart of man. Avoiding our own judgments, no matter how good, is a desirable goal.
Now to this emptying ourselves so that Christ can be magnified comes the reality that most people of prayer are called to represent a certain stream of God. People are called to mainly see justice, mercy, healing or discipleship. This is not a complete list. But God in His wisdom created us to need one another and while we are to feel insecure in being “a part” we should feel insecure when we feel like we are sufficient ourselves.
This brings us to a foundational level of being in Christ that we need to develop.
Jesus said, "Are you still lacking in understanding also? "Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and is eliminated? "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. "These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man."
(Matthew 15:16-20) emphasis added

When we pray for people we want to see what God sees and feel what God feels so that we speak what God would speak. This means we need to be delivered from the uncleanness of our own judgments and traditions. We do not want to accuse people of anger, lust, laziness or anything out of our natural perceptions. We do not want to be an accuser of the brethren.
The first step in overcoming this inward darkness is to admit that it is there and turn away for our own strength to the Lord. By increasing our humility and dependence upon God we build on the foundation that well last. In time, as our nature is transformed, we will find the burden of turning to the Lord is a great delight for us. We will love the very thing we thought was an added discipline.
Much more needs to be said about the inner life of people of prayer, but we can go a long way on building our house of prayer on His will and not our perceptions and judgments.

Others

One of the things I have experienced again and again in my life is the love of other people. It is almost daily that someone is kind, generous or just thoughtful toward me. This is somewhat upsetting because I feel humbled by such love. Even in the tiniest of events I feel unworthy. This, for me, is a just feeling. How great is the love of God to be shown through the gifts, sacrifices and blessings of others.

Over the last 20 years I have gone from the land of "needing no one" to the land of self-helplessness. Physically I use to be able to work 10-12 hours a day. I obtained a lot of self worth by my ability to help others build homes, repair cars, do landscape, move buildings, farm and a long list of other physical activities. Much of that is gone for me unless I experience more grace.

Yet my inability to do good for others has not lessened the good He does to me through a great many other people. Thank You! I am glad to be a part of the lives of so many who are willing to deal with my issues and bless me with theirs.