Abandonment

When you ponder you life in Christ, do you see it through the lens of fulfilling your purpose? Do you look at your life in God and consider what God is telling you to do based on what you feel your calling is? If you do, isn’t that wrong?

What if you felt like you were to be a great leader of people, would you live content in a prison or in a servants position? What if you felt like you were to father numerous sons, would you be content in God with just one, maybe two? What if you were the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, would you allow people to crucify you if you could easily stop them?

When we abandon ourselves to God, it is not with the one reservation that we fulfill our calling. Our personal purpose in life is not a trump card to guarantee some deep sense of self. Even self on this level must be give to the Lord. Abandonment as I use it here is “lack of inhibition or self-restraint”. I am asking if you and I have no self-restraint toward the Lord, that we have give all.

If you whole relationship with God is based on your purpose and calling, than this is very difficult for you. But you ought to ask if you are the Lord’s or if you are using the Lord for your personal goals? We also need to be aware of when our relationship with God is based on us because we then tend to view others based on our objectives. We fail to see all that God is doing because we do not want to see all of it. We want to focus on “us”, our part, our purpose. Now while we can find a thousand reasons to do so, they all well prove to be weak if we first look as the instruction of scripture and the reality that God is not a respecter of persons. Everyone matters or else You do not matter.

It is not a matter of being able to trust God for your life or even for the lives of those around you It is a matter of totally trusting God no matter what you see or perceive. People passionate about Jesus beat up on other followers of Jesus all the time because “what they see” is not of fellowship with God. But the reality is they are trapped in the small world of their own vision, unable to abandon themselves to the King, they Judge and the Rule of all humanity. But this is not about them, it is about me, you.

Why do we need to see the world and God through our eyes?
Is there only a limited about of wisdom and revelation (vision) in God?
Is the renewal of our mind so that we can be a better self or is it for Christ like transformation?
Is there more joy and peace living abandoned to God than in living for God as a person enslaved by my own calling and purpose.

I know some will argue that you cannot escape functioning out of your own calling and purpose, that we are made that way, but I believe all those arguments are based on natural logic. Jesus, our example was ever mindful and obedient to the Father. His view was of doing the will of the Father and in that vision He lived and accomplished His purpose. We too have this ability because of the one who indwells in us. We can be God focused and not miss any of our purpose, even when we may be unaware of our fulfillment of it. Greater is He who is in us that he who is in my own mind.

Note from the past 11-8-1996

Here is a note from one of my past journals.


There is a wonderful and precious deeper life that I have seen. I am not walking in it, but I have seen it.

When all that I am can die and Christ can be raised fully in me, I will have it. Much of my growth toward Christ is for me, not for Christ.

There is a very crafty struggle within. A blocked self says to “seek Christ and become a man of God”. This is weak and faulty because my inner heart knows that “the man” is the focus of the attention.

Yet there is another heart, a heart of holy reflection that says, “seek God and obey”. This heart is willing to be the fool, the simple, the trusting. This heart is a heart that is dead to self but alive to Christ Jesus.

Today I see more clearly than ever before that to gain Christ and keep the blocked heart (the self) will end in “godlessness”. It may produce, what appears to be, a real spiritual man, but in truth it will only produce a spiritual shell.

I need not seek to become great in Christ, but seek only to be in Christ Jesus my Lord. In a wonderful, terrible leap of faith I must give everything to Christ, especially my godliness. I have grown in Christ to a place where I can do the most harm for Christ. I am at a place where I could do great treason. To let the man live another moment enhances the probability that the blocked heart will live, live to hurt, kill and destroy.

Yet even my dying is in the hands of Christ. He must bring to me all that I need to cut away and destroy this old heart of mine. He alone can truly put me to death. If I plan my own death it would included a glorious resurrection, ascension and praise. If I kill myself it would result in the praise of others for doing so and possibly some grand song within, filling me with self-praise.

Living on God’s Rumors

Have you ever taken a word that God spoke to someone in scripture and claimed that for your own? I was pondering that (contemplating really) and I felt as if that was wrong. I felt that if a man stood up and told people publically that He loved Shirley, his wife, it would be wrong for other women to say, “he loves me too”. I know it is more than popular to do that with scripture, but is it right?
As I consider this I felt assured by God that He is more than able to talk to each one of us. And YES He does use scripture to do that. But have you notice how we do it with the positive words, what we call the “good stuff”.

When we do this we live on the rumors of God. We are trying to live by what God has said to another. You don’t need to do that. God has plenty to say to you. You don’t need to live in the leftovers of another person’s relationship with God.
I have heard many people proclaim “We are the head and not the tail”. Yet seldom (actually I am the only one I know of, and I did it more in a spirit of grumbling than in a spirit of revelation) do people proclaim “I am the tail”. Do you recall Paul proclaiming his apostleship (1 Cor. 4:9)? Maybe modern man is better off than this old worn out Apostle.
Now don’t throw out your Bibles just because you can’t get a word from them whenever YOU wish. There is more than enough narrative relenting the unchangeable nature of God. Even among all the personal words not intended for you – are lines and lines of the character and nature of God just waiting for you to grasp and delight in.
God does often use the very words He spoke to one to speak to us too. When we hear Him, even though He is addressing another, His word to us becomes alive and fresh. It has His conviction and not just our presumption. In these cases we do not choose the word but the word has chosen us. We are not laying claim on the word as much as the word is laying claim on us.
Let’s all make the choice not to live my rumors or the words that God has spoken to others. Let’s step out each day with the active hope of a living relationship with the living word. It is His nature to communicate to me, to us.
Even if the Lord of heaven has recorded His love for another in Scripture, you need not envy or steal that proclamation. And don’t panic if you are not the “head”, I have it from a good source that the first are going to finish a little lower than the last one day.

A Great World

With so many people telling us "what is wrong with the world" how are we suppose to be able to focus on what is right. I recall my old football days. We did not focus on how to do things wrong, but right. You only need to be aware of the bad if you have no idea of what is good. But when you know what is good, the whole idea of bad looses it's importance. What I am trying to say is that we should not seek to live lives based on "What we did wrong". If we do, we end up having a "good day" only when we feel like we have only a few "wrongs".

The truth is that even on the worst of days, things are very good. We should rejoice and be glad most of the time. We have lives filled with love, grace, bueaty and wonder. It would be a mojor effort for us to try and live one day with only a few good things surrounding us. Think of all the goodness we take for granted.

Homes, cars, food, clothing, friends, drivers who stay on their own side of the road, birds that sing, trees that bloom, air to breath, water to drink......

Just think of how wonderful all of creation is and how you get to be a part of it. We just celebrated the 40th anniversity of landing on the moon. What that event taught us was more about the wonder of earth than the discovery of the moon. Here you and I are spinning around and around, floating in space, interacting with the Sun, planents and other space stuff. When you truly think of the earth you might rightly consider that we are the speck on the clover. Just travel a few billion miles in space and you will strugle to notice earth at all.

If you ever feel all negative just pretend to stand on the moon and watch little planet earth rise above the horizon. Give out a yell, "It is good". It is.

Imagination

The same God given ability to name all the animals can work against us since the fall. I have noticed in my personal life and in the life of others, we are not very quick to deal with our thoughts. Since these are some of our most personal expressions, we tend to live like those things that happen in the confidence of my mind are not making an effect on others.
But if we are to live lives full of the Holy Spirit and in unending fellowship with God, we must also deal with our thought life and our imaginations. To get to the point quickly, there simply are some things we cannot entertain in our imagination. Of there are sexual acts not in conformity to the will of God, acts of violence or revenge, acts or passions and activities not in harmony with the will of God and acts of personal freedom apart from Christ Jesus.
If you know of the power of the inner man to dream you also should be aware, on some level, the fruit of that ability. God has given us much freedom and that freedom is not to be used to fulfill the desires of the flesh. But used rightly there is numerous inventions, art, music, literature and aspects of science yet to be unleashed.
Try shutting the TV off and making your own entertainment in the beauty of God and in the wonder of all creation. Go to http://www.neave.com/ and see what you and God can come up with.

Intention

Intention

Two lads had the task of sweeping the floor. The first lad set out to do so that it would glorify God. It was his intention that all that He did, in regard to sweeping the floor, was to God's glory. And so He swept.

The second lad had no intention of sweeping the floor to the glory of God and went about His business in a most excellent way. In fact it was near perfect, as one who is fallen in nature yet skilled at sweeping, can sweep. So in the end we have one very clean floor done in the human spirit of excellence and one no so clean floor done to the glory of God.

Now which one glorifies God?

Do not both floors glorify God. The second glory God in that God gave to man the gift or ability to do things well. So the one who, not seeking to glorify God, did glorify God by doing his task well. So God is glorified as the one who makes man able to do things well, even excellent (to a degree).

The second also glorified God because of the intent. For the one seeking to live and labor in such a way as to glorify God in all that they do, does glorify God. God smiles at the intent of the heart, not the cleanness of the floor, and is delighted and glorified.

And maybe you are such a person that the gift given to you, the thing you are called to do, you can do with great skill and excellence. So adding to this excellence you determine to intend to do all to the glory of God, and so you can do so, glorify God, on all levels.

So no beggar is denied glorifying God and no person of excellence allowed to do so without putting forth the natural effort required. Both can fail, by lacking intent or skill, and both can succeed.

And so two men went up to the temple to pray. One a rather great person of prayer and the others no quite so.....

Prodigal Son

I have found that I have very much been the prodigal son for quite some time now. The pain on my suffering body has been used to drive me away from the true love of my Father in Heaven and invited me down a great number of wayward roads. Each of these paths has it's own beauty, but that is just it. The beauty they offer is themselves and not at all like the beauty of the one who is everything, sacrificed, surrendered, redeemed and restored.

How often we quote the passage of scripture that "His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts", only to live as though He is and they are. For me the time I have lost is the result of trying to live. I have spent a great deal of time, money and energy in trying to live. But now, years later, I am no better.

How I long for the days when one prompting of my heart resulted in generous love toward God. The times when I died to my self and lived for the gain of Christ Jesus. This gain was not in great exploits but in hidden surrender. It was in the delight to love, the joy of sacrifice, the thrill of bringing a pleasure of joy to another - namely God himself.

All this I can do in any state in which I exist. I need no better marriage, no better body, no better status of wealth to give all that I have to Him. When and why did I loose this "first love"? I started to loose it when I sought to be something, leaving behind the significance of being in Christ and seeking to be more. More what?

The first principle of growth in God is obedience, not in part but the whole. Without total obedience all growth is only an illusion. I know this better now but grieve that I had to lean it so deeply. Regardless of Bible study and reading, regardless of prayer, small group attendance, learning and yes, even regardless of worship, without obedience a person is not growing in the riches of Christ Jesus. Do not spend years of your life trying to improve. We do not need to find the right method. We need to do His will.

In the instruction on how to pray..."Thy kingdom come, thy will be done..." Is about how we live, and not just about the type of request me make. Never again should we separate living from Christianity. How sad it is if we have all the right information and not once ounce of the King or His Kingdom.

Practice Plege Stoppage

Saturday as I head about the swine flue and it's potential danger (according to the media) I thought this would be a good focus for my fasting and prayer Monday and Tuesday. I thought I could practice stopping an epidemic before I was faces with the real fears and dangers of one being at my door.

I have started by Contemplating Rev. 18:4 and the calling of the people of God out of Babylon so that we do not share in the plagues they do. The people of God are to be separate from the world. But what is this separation for?

To answer that question rightly you need to know exactly what God will is for you in this moment. We have few real bond servants of God who live in such a way that they are free to ask God His will and are not paralyzed by their own presumption or indecision. To know both the love of God and the will of God in this situation is vital. If His will is separated from His love you will have judgment without mercy or mercy without truth.

At this point it is easy to see how we "run to the cross" more than live "at the cross". We are quick to turn to God in a situation but lack the ongoing devotion to live so close that we need not "move to Him" but only "listen". So far I have only found a few people who have so died to self that Christ can actually ask them to agree with Him, even when they are not seeing the whole picture and lack any ability to control.

Gap fillers are quite rare while people with agendas and aspiration quite high.

Creator dad, who dwells on high
Your grander beyond my mind
Maker of all things that be
Unlike human kind

Taking flesh to show us how
Holiness is too our call
Bringing into time
The union, life divine

In High Demand

I am in one of those seasons of “high demand”. I am right now in the Prayer Room (not praying) but using my blog to sort through several of the voices I hear in my mind. These are not “God speaking to me” voices, but “me speaking to me” voices. If you don’t have these don’t worry, you’re not missing much.
But I have been stressed by all the things that I “could do”, “should do”, “must do”, “ought to do” and “might possible do”. It feels a lot like driving in Chicago traffic, talking on the cell, eating a subway sandwich, listening to Reed’s DVD, praying in the spirit and daydreaming all at the same time. Don’t ask me how I know it feels like that. But it does.
I want to please the Lord in all regards. I want to make my life count, not for something, but for God. I want to stand before the eternal one and have Him smile and give me the redeeming hug of brotherhood. To hear Him say, “Well done, you mystic redneck, you did just want I wanted”! I don’t want others to look at my life and say it was a success, I want my Dad in heaven to approve. So how do I/we do that.
I spent a lot of time trying to sort through the truths of the Scripture and find a list to help me manage my life. Then in the prayer room (while I was praying) I felt the Lord toll me “not to manage my life”. I felt the Lord saying to me that He would manage my life. That my part was to love others and listen to Him closely as to what I was to do or not do. I know that “God wants me to….” Has been misused in the past. But just because it has been abused doesn’t mean it is not the way of life.
We don’t need God to tell us to get out of bed or stop eating ice cream after the second bowl. We have a responsibility to manage life on some level. But the level is always, always subject to the will of God who is in heaven. It is a delightful burden to live in such a way as to bring about on earth as it is in heaven. So the next time you find yourself life me… Trying to help 3 National Prayer Movements and 4 local church prayer events, 4 city wide prayer efforts, help the neighbors roof, 5 lawns to mow, a church to remodel, a home to build for a “dropped” Katarina victim, a son who wants to go fishing and play catch, friends who need help moving, a bathroom that need to be cleaned and a book that calls out to be read; just listen.
My Dad in heaven deals with much more than this on a daily basis and His “never in a panic” way of doing things enables me to do my part – love others. I think I’m gonna pray the prayer of THANKSGIVING FOR AWAILE.

My Hard to Love List

I thought I would make a “hard to love” list of people who are hard for me to love. I would choose the kind of person that is all messed up, so much so that it poses some difficulty for me to love them.
Does God ever mess with you?
So I went to make this list, right. My goal is improvement and Godliness through the observation of faults and weakness in others. Can you see where this is going?
No matter how novel, I can’t seem to get to God through picking apart other people. My Father in heaven simply wants to work in me until His love flows freely through me – no goodness of others required.
I guess true Christlikeness is loving “hard to love” people easily. “Easy” being with restraint, not as “easy” being without effort. Picking up the cross is a labor intensive ordeal, especially if you are large. The measure of the natural man determines the size of the cross.
So I got my list now! The “hard to love” people are me. It’s hard to know what is in your heart and still love or like yourself. I guess I will need to trust God that He too is Christlike, loving those who have issues.
Dear God, I and a few others close to me, were wondering when you would be done transforming me into the image of Christ. We all hope that it would happen any time now.

In This World We Live

We have just gone through the wedding of my oldest son and within a day following, my Dad had a stroke. We are full of joy and suffering at the same time. Life is like that. The remembrance of the cross is both joy and sorrow. Joy for it's full salvation and sorrow at the cost of such redemption.

Nothing feebler than a man does the earth raise up, of all the things which breathe and move on the earth, for he believes that he will never suffer evil in the future, as long as the gods give him success and he flourishes in his strength; but when the blessed gods bring sorrows too to pass, even these he bears, against his will, with steadfast spirit, for the thoughts of earthly men are like the day which the father of gods and men brings upon them.
Homer (800 BC - 700 BC), The Odyssey

Homer expresses the past and future reality of both a "Father God" and the limits of humanity. Even these thousands of years later we find man, still feeble in his ability to control life. We are in desperate need of a Father God.

Over the last hours I have found much in the Father God that I truly love and enjoy. His companionship is real, stable and direct. I love the way that He loves me and trust in His goodness and grace, even with my limited human perception. I have found that His abiding within drives life for me. In the darkest moments of life, there is a way within. This inward way is not "my way" but Christ living in me that brings forth expressions of life and hope that cannot be found in me at those moments. It is very much like a child being cared for my their loving parents. It is like being nursed, held. instructed and lead on some great adventure into the wonder and beauty of what is not yet seen or known.

Not all of life is good. But there we stand with God and the un-good can go no further. We and God in used as limiters of the un-good. We are like the barriers of evil, the guardrails of travel. We and God in us establish limits as to how far un-good can go. We do this in the most simple way, of expressing love.

For in the loving of God, others, our selves and all of creation; the un-good of the un-godly is halted. Love never fails. Love does not stand alone against the tide, but it does stand, often the first. Christ in me and I in Christ will not let the un-good of this life run free. In love we will constrain it and in doing so, live life fully.

We transcend our situation, rise above it, when we live in the perspective of Father God. It is in no way a denial of the suffering of this world, but it is an actual "rising above". All those who have been carried through a death of a loved one, endured chronic pain, or walked through seasons of obsessive fear know about this protective abode of the Lord. It is not a place for a few divinely selected ones who God has chosen to favor with His love. No, it is a place available to all. Yet it cost.

The cost of entrance and abiding is submission. We must enter into Him prior to His entrance into us. God fills what He covers, He protects what is hidden in Him. Now the truth. It is not what you say or even the action that you do that "proclaim" your entrance into the abode of Christ, it is your heart! Even your mind must submit to the leading of the heart if you want to truly dwell in the secret place of the Most High. Yield your heart to God, fully, and you will find a doorway open to you. Follow Him as He leads on this pathway.

Healed or not healed

I am setting right now in a healing school in Iowa. Last week I was in Lakeland FL at the Florida outpouring. It is a wonderful and awful thing to chase the Lord and His healing power. I have not been healed but have had numerous encounters with the presence and love of God. It is not a simple thing to reconcile outside of our personal relationship with God.

I come to believe that no matter what we "believe in our theology" we live from the reality of our life in God. The more we truly have a daily relationship with God the more we are stable in all the things that life brings to us and through us. Our pain and longing are all filtered through that relationship with God. This is what allows us to pray for others while we ourselves are in a place of need. This is what allows us to suffer while living in hope and love, we can have a need for money to pay our bills and yet be giving to others because we have a security that is not in this world, it is in our heart and in our relationship with God.

My pain sought to be me
Yet I found life coming to me
Not in my situation
But beyond it
The love I needed
Was freely supplied
Not through my labor
But through graces desire
It was not my work to be free that set me free
Even my desire to be like God failed
All that comes from man fails
To bring life eternal, power unfailing
All that we need
Only in Him, from Him, with Him
Grace and love are freely given to me
Through the Son who love through Calvary
Free eternal because His first and always loves me