Prodigal Son

I have found that I have very much been the prodigal son for quite some time now. The pain on my suffering body has been used to drive me away from the true love of my Father in Heaven and invited me down a great number of wayward roads. Each of these paths has it's own beauty, but that is just it. The beauty they offer is themselves and not at all like the beauty of the one who is everything, sacrificed, surrendered, redeemed and restored.

How often we quote the passage of scripture that "His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts", only to live as though He is and they are. For me the time I have lost is the result of trying to live. I have spent a great deal of time, money and energy in trying to live. But now, years later, I am no better.

How I long for the days when one prompting of my heart resulted in generous love toward God. The times when I died to my self and lived for the gain of Christ Jesus. This gain was not in great exploits but in hidden surrender. It was in the delight to love, the joy of sacrifice, the thrill of bringing a pleasure of joy to another - namely God himself.

All this I can do in any state in which I exist. I need no better marriage, no better body, no better status of wealth to give all that I have to Him. When and why did I loose this "first love"? I started to loose it when I sought to be something, leaving behind the significance of being in Christ and seeking to be more. More what?

The first principle of growth in God is obedience, not in part but the whole. Without total obedience all growth is only an illusion. I know this better now but grieve that I had to lean it so deeply. Regardless of Bible study and reading, regardless of prayer, small group attendance, learning and yes, even regardless of worship, without obedience a person is not growing in the riches of Christ Jesus. Do not spend years of your life trying to improve. We do not need to find the right method. We need to do His will.

In the instruction on how to pray..."Thy kingdom come, thy will be done..." Is about how we live, and not just about the type of request me make. Never again should we separate living from Christianity. How sad it is if we have all the right information and not once ounce of the King or His Kingdom.