I am setting right now in a healing school in Iowa. Last week I was in Lakeland FL at the Florida outpouring. It is a wonderful and awful thing to chase the Lord and His healing power. I have not been healed but have had numerous encounters with the presence and love of God. It is not a simple thing to reconcile outside of our personal relationship with God.
I come to believe that no matter what we "believe in our theology" we live from the reality of our life in God. The more we truly have a daily relationship with God the more we are stable in all the things that life brings to us and through us. Our pain and longing are all filtered through that relationship with God. This is what allows us to pray for others while we ourselves are in a place of need. This is what allows us to suffer while living in hope and love, we can have a need for money to pay our bills and yet be giving to others because we have a security that is not in this world, it is in our heart and in our relationship with God.
My pain sought to be me
Yet I found life coming to me
Not in my situation
But beyond it
The love I needed
Was freely supplied
Not through my labor
But through graces desire
It was not my work to be free that set me free
Even my desire to be like God failed
All that comes from man fails
To bring life eternal, power unfailing
All that we need
Only in Him, from Him, with Him
Grace and love are freely given to me
Through the Son who love through Calvary
Free eternal because His first and always loves me
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