I'm a great guy, with personal issues. I can't hide the greatness or the personal issues. What you see when you see me is what you are looking for. Oh, and sure the "greatness" might not be all that great, but I got what I got.
Each one of us has personal issues. God allowed these into our lives to keep us stirred up. If you want life to be simple and easy going, you might want to try Buddha or some other eastern no conflict religion. Christianity is full of blood, sacrifice, war and those nasty crosses.
But me and my stuff is what makes the cross delightful. At the cross I get an upgrade on life and that makes me excited. At the cross I get to take the me that I am and upgrade to the me I should be. It is like taking the old thing that you purchased at Walmart a year ago, and getting a new one. Walmart is like God in that way. They may give you a nasty look, but you still get to exchange the old for the new. Most of the time God doesn't give us a nasty look, but we feel like He does.
That feeling is a personal issue. We have (living people have) a lot of them. They are what we collect on our soul when we live. Some of us have issues of fear, anger, unforgiveness as well as mercy, love and hope. The personal issue is what grows in your inner life when you, as a person, have something happen to you.
I can recall in college when I was in a snowball fight in the dorm. when you have an indoor snowball fight you are a little more cautious about throwing your snow balls. It is hard to make them out of carpet, hard - but not impossible.
Well something like a carpet ball hit me in the face. It was actually a rock in the snowball thrown by a guy with personal issues. What happened is that His personal issues and mine got all tangled up and life was very exciting for some time. It all worked out though as we got to go to the cross and upgrade. I got more forgiveness and he got some bigger rocks. He needed them because my forgiveness was more progressive and instantanious.
So you can see or imagine that Christianity is more exciting because of personal issues. I suppose that some people think life is all about setting quietly and having perfect peace. But if you take the time to talk to these people who have perfect peace they are worried that people don't like them, or if they are humming to loud or not setting quietly in the right way. They also have issues about who has the greater perfect peace and who's perfect peace is being noticed.
One of my goals is life is to be a project. God loves to create and build, He is always restoring something and if I help Him hang around me, work on me, restore me, that's great.
I once had a prophetic word give to me. It went something like this.... "Rod, God knows that you are screwed up even more than you know, but He likes being with you". Right there is a testimony of a true word. Who but God could love a guy with personal issues.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Broken Rod
In the hand of a King
He intended to be
This twig of an Ash or a Oak
Each living thing has a purpose, has plans
So why not a twig, a staff for a King.
The rings of a tree reflect seasons of growth
Some are grand and others are lean
Each season itself, endured to the end
Brings growth to the twig, for the King.
But what makes one strong
How can nobility be earned
Can greatness come by mere growth
Do the winds of time blow with enough strength
To make a sceptre of twigs?
Could the twig be as nothing
What matters is others, not self
Add gold and silver and all precious stone
Add carvings and leather and oil
Add more to the twig
Hide each and all faults
Make it so the twig is not seen
Please every eye
Fulfill every hope
And pray that the King never leans.
But leading does come and strength is required
Even when covered with glitter and gold
To carry a load is required of all rods
Without this, they are without hope.
So back to the place where glitter is rare
Back to the land of growth
To the hidden, the common, the lonely
It's true
To the endurance of wind and of storm
To the yearning for water, and sun and growth
To collection of mineral and oar.
Strength from within, litte glamore without
Through trial and suffering and pain
A twigs gotta do what a twigs gotta do
And this without glory or fame.
Now in the field of great Ash
In the stand of the Oaks
A million great branches are made
Each one endured time, and seasons and life
Each one was created, then made.
True growth changes things
Deep things
Down within
True growth honors life, not fame
And even the desires of twigs does change
Once matured, once endured
Connection is valued more than praise.
What was once the great goal
Is now viewed as sacrifice
What was glory is now seen as pain
To be cut off, to be removed from your place
Speaks of hardship, displeasure and shame.
To spend all our time growing to be
What in time we do not desire
Is a life that is living and seeing within
A beauty not known without pain
For the hope of some glory
turns into one's duty
When we love "what we are" more
Than what "might be".
So the rod that is chosen to support the great King
Is a rod deeply broken within
In support, never failing
In glory, no thought
In beauty and position - esteemed
Yet humbled by privilege
And mindful of life
To be broken
Held
by the King.
For no matter how glorious the palace may be
The secptue, once a rod, once a branch, once a twig
Knows it's by grace he was chosen for this
And remembers the lessons of change.
Life is only short here on earth, our other life has endless days.
He intended to be
This twig of an Ash or a Oak
Each living thing has a purpose, has plans
So why not a twig, a staff for a King.
The rings of a tree reflect seasons of growth
Some are grand and others are lean
Each season itself, endured to the end
Brings growth to the twig, for the King.
But what makes one strong
How can nobility be earned
Can greatness come by mere growth
Do the winds of time blow with enough strength
To make a sceptre of twigs?
Could the twig be as nothing
What matters is others, not self
Add gold and silver and all precious stone
Add carvings and leather and oil
Add more to the twig
Hide each and all faults
Make it so the twig is not seen
Please every eye
Fulfill every hope
And pray that the King never leans.
But leading does come and strength is required
Even when covered with glitter and gold
To carry a load is required of all rods
Without this, they are without hope.
So back to the place where glitter is rare
Back to the land of growth
To the hidden, the common, the lonely
It's true
To the endurance of wind and of storm
To the yearning for water, and sun and growth
To collection of mineral and oar.
Strength from within, litte glamore without
Through trial and suffering and pain
A twigs gotta do what a twigs gotta do
And this without glory or fame.
Now in the field of great Ash
In the stand of the Oaks
A million great branches are made
Each one endured time, and seasons and life
Each one was created, then made.
True growth changes things
Deep things
Down within
True growth honors life, not fame
And even the desires of twigs does change
Once matured, once endured
Connection is valued more than praise.
What was once the great goal
Is now viewed as sacrifice
What was glory is now seen as pain
To be cut off, to be removed from your place
Speaks of hardship, displeasure and shame.
To spend all our time growing to be
What in time we do not desire
Is a life that is living and seeing within
A beauty not known without pain
For the hope of some glory
turns into one's duty
When we love "what we are" more
Than what "might be".
So the rod that is chosen to support the great King
Is a rod deeply broken within
In support, never failing
In glory, no thought
In beauty and position - esteemed
Yet humbled by privilege
And mindful of life
To be broken
Held
by the King.
For no matter how glorious the palace may be
The secptue, once a rod, once a branch, once a twig
Knows it's by grace he was chosen for this
And remembers the lessons of change.
Life is only short here on earth, our other life has endless days.
Monday, March 10, 2008
I'm Better because I'm Better
Most every day I get up I try to earn some favor from God that will allow my life to be a little easier or "more blessed". At the end of most of these days I just have depression and disappointment. It is very hard work to try and get God to love you more!
With the help of an unyielding heart, I set out anew most every day. Oh now I pretend that I have my act together, I pretend to walk in grace and to live care fee under the provision of the Lord. What I truly do is act out my desired reality while inside, I live with the real me. I'm waiting for the real me to go away and the me I want to be to live.
Fear plays a major role in my life. Fear of rejection, fear of hurt, fear of failure; all work on me like a roller pin working in yeast. More than that, like a overweight half drunker sailor who is serving time in the galley by getting the bread ready. Driven by anger and filled with bitterness this sailor slaps and punches the bread, using verbal insult to get his job done. At times I feel like my inner life just knocks me around. I feel abused for a purpose. Molded into a small container and heated until I am ready to be eaten by man.
How can I live in grace and favor. I know what this cost. I know who I am. I know what I am in the very deep places of my thoughts, attitudes, emotions. Sure I have some level of the gift of self-control, that is what makes me the least bit socially acceptable. I am gifted at pretending to me a better me. Grace and favor are just to costly a gift to embrace, doing so results in humility, deep unending humility.
One of the places of greatest pain and suffering is the place that I can never earn love from God. My "manness" is empty, broken. I fail at all attempts of earning love. This is a haunting truth. For the immature it is a "so what". "Let's party and fill our lives with selfishness." "Come listen to me, I am favored by the Lord, blessed, loved, and it cost me nothing!" Why do I call them immature? Do I want them to be unhappy with me?
Where is the truth, the truths about right living with God? Where do obedience and grace meet? How can a righteous man live in righteous ways and not feast at the table of irresponsibility? There must be "a way".
Silently now I hear His voice
My unborn brother takes the lead
Like a beam of light
He over shadows me
So on the other side of me is the only dark place
Where will I cast my gaze
What will I choose for focus
The unborn One
Me
The Shadow created
I choose to see them all
To be one
To live for another
To be united in my division
To live in the space between failure and grace
The space I call "me"
Like my brother
Bread for men
That them might eat
And live
With the help of an unyielding heart, I set out anew most every day. Oh now I pretend that I have my act together, I pretend to walk in grace and to live care fee under the provision of the Lord. What I truly do is act out my desired reality while inside, I live with the real me. I'm waiting for the real me to go away and the me I want to be to live.
Fear plays a major role in my life. Fear of rejection, fear of hurt, fear of failure; all work on me like a roller pin working in yeast. More than that, like a overweight half drunker sailor who is serving time in the galley by getting the bread ready. Driven by anger and filled with bitterness this sailor slaps and punches the bread, using verbal insult to get his job done. At times I feel like my inner life just knocks me around. I feel abused for a purpose. Molded into a small container and heated until I am ready to be eaten by man.
How can I live in grace and favor. I know what this cost. I know who I am. I know what I am in the very deep places of my thoughts, attitudes, emotions. Sure I have some level of the gift of self-control, that is what makes me the least bit socially acceptable. I am gifted at pretending to me a better me. Grace and favor are just to costly a gift to embrace, doing so results in humility, deep unending humility.
One of the places of greatest pain and suffering is the place that I can never earn love from God. My "manness" is empty, broken. I fail at all attempts of earning love. This is a haunting truth. For the immature it is a "so what". "Let's party and fill our lives with selfishness." "Come listen to me, I am favored by the Lord, blessed, loved, and it cost me nothing!" Why do I call them immature? Do I want them to be unhappy with me?
Where is the truth, the truths about right living with God? Where do obedience and grace meet? How can a righteous man live in righteous ways and not feast at the table of irresponsibility? There must be "a way".
Silently now I hear His voice
My unborn brother takes the lead
Like a beam of light
He over shadows me
So on the other side of me is the only dark place
Where will I cast my gaze
What will I choose for focus
The unborn One
Me
The Shadow created
I choose to see them all
To be one
To live for another
To be united in my division
To live in the space between failure and grace
The space I call "me"
Like my brother
Bread for men
That them might eat
And live
Monday, February 25, 2008
Favored By God
Eph 2:18 for through Him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father.
Access
Access to God is the favor of God to draw near to Him. How many people do you think desire to serve and know God, yet they never utilize the privilege of fellowship with God?
The might and power of God enters into the life of a person so that they can draw upon that power to walk with God. It is not a "walking after" God as much as it is "walking with" God. Walking with the Holy Spirit results in a life of continual overcoming of sin, evil, sickness and disease. Walking with God brings one into living contact with knowledge, information, understanding and emotions beyond this world. Walking with God is the way that we live in both heaven and earth at the same time.
How many people have had Satan come to them and steal the very words of God. Men and women who have been attacked through plain reason and logic to except the non-existence of God. People who were convinced that there is a God, but He does not dwell in man. People who started out loving God but who have been reduced to "meeting attenders" and "giving units" as the wonder of living a life of "God in them" has been attacked, ridiculed and ma lined.
Today, each one of us who has entered into life with Christ Jesus can yield to the strength of God's might and enter into fellowship with God and His will. The power, ability, miracles, authority of God is in us as we live a life in fellowship with God. So marvelous is this loving grace of God that we are allowed full access until we are filled with the fullness of God. Unbelievable!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Sick Christians
Here I set, running a temperature, coughing, ready to spew. Two of my kids are sick also. How we love others when we see them hurting. When you hear those deep painful coughs, it breaks your heart. My son has been talking in the night. His temperature drives him to the point of panic. Sickness is stressing him out.
So what is a Christian to do? I have spent hours in intercession while I lay suffering on my bed. I know I am no where close to Job, but one must wonder at the greatness within a person who can endure suffering and never complain, never doubt, never be shaken.
I just want to offer up a bid Hip Hip Hurray! A cheer for all of God's friend's who go through stuff and make it. Men and women who daily pay a price for emotionally loving God. Well done, suffering child, discouraged teen, wounded man or women. You are the stuff the eternal kingdom is made of. People hidden from greatness by the nobility that they carry in simple love. People who are unshakable in Christ. People who are living as light to the rest of us.
When the time of trouble comes to this earth, I want to be on the run with one of them, someone who knows how to make it through, someone who can endure until the end. In the day to trouble I want someone beside me who knows how to suck it up and requires that I do the same. Mercy Lord, mercy and endurance.
So what is a Christian to do? I have spent hours in intercession while I lay suffering on my bed. I know I am no where close to Job, but one must wonder at the greatness within a person who can endure suffering and never complain, never doubt, never be shaken.
I just want to offer up a bid Hip Hip Hurray! A cheer for all of God's friend's who go through stuff and make it. Men and women who daily pay a price for emotionally loving God. Well done, suffering child, discouraged teen, wounded man or women. You are the stuff the eternal kingdom is made of. People hidden from greatness by the nobility that they carry in simple love. People who are unshakable in Christ. People who are living as light to the rest of us.
When the time of trouble comes to this earth, I want to be on the run with one of them, someone who knows how to make it through, someone who can endure until the end. In the day to trouble I want someone beside me who knows how to suck it up and requires that I do the same. Mercy Lord, mercy and endurance.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Spiritual Stuff
Wisdom, knowledge, truth and faith all require morality to be of God. If we remove virtue or morality from these, we have an activity that is apart from God. It is not enough just to have earthly wisdom, but as James instructs us to not only "do" and "be", but to "do" and "be" in the right way.
This will be offencive to those who want a God that can be loved and served without condition. As long as anyone can draw near to God, as long as you have a Divine Being who has a fear of man, then many will worship that being. Do we not love those who love us? Do we not love god who requires nothing from those who call Him Lord? "Only Believe" now means to live as you wish and trust God to daily serve you in your selfish pursuits. God is not a Divine Being that has any fear of man. God is so bold that He calls some of our wisdom - demonic.
Have you ever seen someone serve God by manipulation, selfishness, ambition, jealously or some other vise? Can God truly be served in this way? Not if "truth" requires virtue to be true. With God the right thing cannot be separated from the right way. In truth there is only one way. Jesus is the way, He is also life and wisdom and in the Christian faith, virtue cannot be separated from the idea.
We hang our head is shame when we remember the time when conversion to Christ was done at the point of a sword or spear. We despise the person who enters into a contract with others, only to break that contract and require that they spend all that they have in the quest for justice.
Do we use manipulation, boas tings of success, pleas for divine wealth and happiness as swords to convince people to get saved. People who have no love for God are proclaimed as Christian because they have taken on religious means to maintain their selfish lives. People are lead to enter into contract with God so that He will serve them, bless them, meet all their needs according to their carnal hearts desire.
I may be severe on this point, but the lack of consideration of God pushes me this way. God is no longer the Uncreated Majestic one, He is no longer the one who calls the stars by name, the ruler of nations, the creator of galaxies and humming birds. Wonder is lost. Beauty is reduced to human lust. Angles ascending and descending is pushed aside to read the Bible and tell others what I think it might mean. Burning bushes, floating thrones, angles, floating ax heads, water from rocks, more angles, walking on water, more angels are all lost to earthly wisdom.
Could all this be because we have removed morality from the things of God? Could sin in the human heart bring about such a deception that we not speak of truth, love, faith and these things can be held without a equal call to purity, holiness, virtue.
This will be offencive to those who want a God that can be loved and served without condition. As long as anyone can draw near to God, as long as you have a Divine Being who has a fear of man, then many will worship that being. Do we not love those who love us? Do we not love god who requires nothing from those who call Him Lord? "Only Believe" now means to live as you wish and trust God to daily serve you in your selfish pursuits. God is not a Divine Being that has any fear of man. God is so bold that He calls some of our wisdom - demonic.
Have you ever seen someone serve God by manipulation, selfishness, ambition, jealously or some other vise? Can God truly be served in this way? Not if "truth" requires virtue to be true. With God the right thing cannot be separated from the right way. In truth there is only one way. Jesus is the way, He is also life and wisdom and in the Christian faith, virtue cannot be separated from the idea.
We hang our head is shame when we remember the time when conversion to Christ was done at the point of a sword or spear. We despise the person who enters into a contract with others, only to break that contract and require that they spend all that they have in the quest for justice.
Do we use manipulation, boas tings of success, pleas for divine wealth and happiness as swords to convince people to get saved. People who have no love for God are proclaimed as Christian because they have taken on religious means to maintain their selfish lives. People are lead to enter into contract with God so that He will serve them, bless them, meet all their needs according to their carnal hearts desire.
I may be severe on this point, but the lack of consideration of God pushes me this way. God is no longer the Uncreated Majestic one, He is no longer the one who calls the stars by name, the ruler of nations, the creator of galaxies and humming birds. Wonder is lost. Beauty is reduced to human lust. Angles ascending and descending is pushed aside to read the Bible and tell others what I think it might mean. Burning bushes, floating thrones, angles, floating ax heads, water from rocks, more angles, walking on water, more angels are all lost to earthly wisdom.
Could all this be because we have removed morality from the things of God? Could sin in the human heart bring about such a deception that we not speak of truth, love, faith and these things can be held without a equal call to purity, holiness, virtue.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Kingdom or Nation
Matt 13:31-33
31 He presented another parable to them, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; 32 and this is smaller than all other seeds; but when it is full grown, it is larger than the garden plants, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches. "
33 He spoke another parable to them, "The kingdom of heaven is like leaven, which a woman took, and hid in three pecks of meal, until it was all leavened."
NAS
The teachings of the Kingdom of God reveal to us some of the ways that God is going to use to influence all the nations of the world. From seemingly insignificant beginnings God plants something that grows. When the growth is close to harvest time or when the time of baking is near, the impact is accomplished. The Kingdom of God often advances without being seen.
Each person who is living out the gospel of the Kingdom needs to remind ourselves of this growth process. In a world that is impatience and in a hurry, few rewards are given to the steadfast enduring process of growth. If success and influence are not accomplished very quickly, a person is tempted and tried to try something else or abandon the failing cause. How many times have the people of God thrown away the right plan just because it was not producing the results they wanted? Instant maturity is a myth and those who promote such need to be infected with the Kingdom.
Equal to the election of presidents and officials are the daily lives of the people of God. Righteousness in the White House is not greater than righteousness in your house. God’s Kingdom is not made of rules and orders of behaviors, but heart transformation. With or without just laws the Kingdom is coming. The whole earth will be full of leaven.
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